Deployment Day 61

not much to report today. We started the day with our schedule, but then we had to go to walmart. it was FREEZING out today. absolutely freezing. i didn't realize this before I left...so the kids (and of course, me, too) were cold. lol! Whoops! no major meltdowns at walmart today! WOOT! We checked th email on our way home and I got my new Wii My Trainer game. got in, fed the kids lunch, put them to bed, and put it in the wii....then proceeded to get my booty kicked :) in a good way though. it wasn't so hard that i couldn't keep up, but hard enough that i definitely was sweating and tired. I liked it overall! i'll see what i think about it tomorrow :) LOL

So i was thinking in my bath tonight that i should just move home. there are too many benefits.... and i don't think we can "count" on another deployement with the new plan to withdraw all the troops from Iraq by august 2010. but if i move home, we'll have more than enough to take our trip, pay off the car, buy another car out right, and still have significant savings. So on Monday i need to make a bunch of calls. I need to find out how much it would cost for movers to move us into a storage place here, and i need to call housing and make sure that they will move us out of a storage shed. and of course, i have to wait for Michael to call again. He's told me repeatedly that whatever i want to do is fine :)

but i was thinking that with our "leftover" money, and having 0 debt, we should be able to rent for a year or so, and then revisit the homeowner thing. we would know by then if another deployment is on the horizon, and how much we would have saved by then. i feel good about my decisions tonight :) lol

Deployment Day 60

so i know lent was wednesday, and that i'm not terribly religious. but i read on another blog that a mama had decided to give up the internet every day between the hours of 7 am. and 8 pm. for some reason it just seemed like an EXCELLENT idea, so i decided to do the same (well i decided from 8-8 would fit my schedule better ;) ).

So today was the first day :) it went well! We tried out a "schedule" and some new games and different ideas. Sean still had a slightly rough late evening, but an all around good day :) I feel accomplished and am happy with how the day went. i think we might go back to the playground tomorrow morning. they had a TON of fun there.

i talked to michael for a little while this afternoon. he had no new thoughts on what i should do. i'm just going to sit on it for a little while and see what happens :)

i'm watching Get Smart. i LOVED this show growing up :)

Deployment DayS 58 & 59

i tried to blog my Wordless Wednesday last night, but i just couldn't make it work. for some reason my pictures just wouldn't post...or they'd post but not post right. so i'm trying again :)











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THURSDAY

really, there's not much to blog today. i still have no clue what i should do. It's apparently 100% my decision, as i was told yesterday. If anyone has some words that would make my decsion 100% crystal clear, that would be Super ;) i see lots of upsides to going home...LOTS of upsides. and there are a few upsides to staying here...i enjoy my own space. i think it'd be better for the kids to be at home. especially sean. I so feel like i'm failing him so much of the time. i just don't know what to try and what i'm doing right and wrong. he'd be able to go to preschool there, and i think that would be WONDERFUL for him. i really do.

anyhoo...we went to the playground this morning. the kids had a blast. i think we are ALL so stinkin ready for some SUN! (yes ANOTHER bonus to TN...no 80 month long winter...)

Deployment Day 57

***just a warning...this is not going to be a very happy blog entry today. i am trying to be positive, but i can tell you already that it's not going to be positive entry. if you don't want to hear (read?) it than feel free to just skip this one :) ***

Do you ever just feel bad when you know that you really don't have a reason?? I know in my head that i should be on cloud 9, but i.am.not. period. I do NOT feel happy today.

let me back up.

Michael signed his papers this morning. He reenlisted for Fort Campbell. We'll be moving there in May 2010. THIS is EXCELLENT news. excellent. what we've been waiting for for like 5 years now. We've been talking for days and days about the possibility of buying a house in Clarksville. We want to stay there. we already know we like clarksville, and it's so close to home that we just want to stay there. Being homeowners is a HUGE dream of ours. something we have seriously dreamed about since we got married. but we knew it wasn't logical to buy a house when we were going to be moving so often. so we just let ourselves dream and accepted the fact that we wouldn't be homeowners until retirement. so we saw this awesome opportunity and have been so excited about it.
Well we decided yesterday that in order to get a really good down payment, i should just move back home and save all that rent money. we ran all the numbers and the possiblities and after we saw that it was really going to work, we got really excited. there were going ot be downsides to me moving home, but we decided that it was really going to be best.

so i emailed him this morning and said that i didn't realize how big of a thing we were asking my mom and dad until the words were coming out of my mouth, but that Mom had said it was ok. He called a few hours later and long story short(er), he no longer thinks that moving home is a really good idea. we got too excited and didn't think about the impact it was going to have on others.

I am disappointed and confused as to what will actually be best for us it's hard to just look past wants and desires and think 100% logically and look at situations from every angle. i was doing that the other day when we first started thinking about all this. I was very careful to not get my hopes up and to try and be skeptical and think it all the way through. and now i'm slightly crushed b/c i did so much thinking and research and planning and allowed myself to get excited and this is really really really something that i want. and now it just might not happen.

add to this, Tiffany is leaving in just a few hours. i feel super lonely. I had gotten excited about moving back home nad having friends and family and i feel like that's been taken away from me (i know, dramatic much??) and now the only friend i have here is also being taken from me :(

and also we had a REALLY REALLY crappy connection this morning so our calls kept getting dropped, which makes it really hard to carry on a conversation. it was INCREDIBLY frustrating. we eventually just gave up. so now i've been thinking about all these possible scenarios all day and i don't even know when i'm going to get to talk to michael again.

and b/c of all of this, i was in a grumpy mood, which means the kids were in a grumpy mood, which just creates a vicious circle. LOL

so i know this is all not that serious and i should be really excited that we'll be back in TN in 15 months time. that should be my focus, and it will be...tomorrow :) but for now i'm allowing myself to be upset. just for today. tomorrow the sun will rise on a new day and a new perspective and i'll be able to focus on the positive. but for now, i sulk ;) LOL

Deployment Day 56

i worked hard today. Took care of business, cleaned cleaned cleaned, and ran some errands :) i am exhausted tonight. i got almost zero sleep last night. like literally. so i'm watching Heroes right now and then am definitely going to bed. I just hope i'm able to get some sleep. i have NOT been sleeping well lately. i sleep pretty ok, but good lord it takes forever to fall asleep.

anywho...it was another disastrous trip to walmart today. Not anywhere near as bad as last time, but he wasn't very good. but thankfully we didn't need to be there very long.

No phone call today. I emailed him, but haven't heard back. I'm weighing options right now and considering moving home. Just for the purpose of saving money. michael (and me too) really want to buy our own house. so i was on a fact finding mission this afternoon. i still have a LOT to learn, but i learned a lot today :)

We have our playdate tomorrow morning. Pray it goes well!!

Deployment Day 55

It was an INCREDIBLY lazy day at the Matasick household. i'm chalking it up to it being a Sunday.

But Michael called tonight. we had a fun phone call. we talked all about buying houses in Clarksville. we looked a bunch up on line. just day dreamin :) but hopefully when we get back to TN we can make it a reality! we'll just have to see what the next year holds :)

Deployment Day 54

No phone call today :( boo...

We decided today that sean HAD to get a hair cut. It was bad. So i called. there's this awesome place in Watertown, with this wonderful woman named Kim. We got an apointment for noon. nap's at 1, so noon worked fine :) We get there and Kim is finishing up with the client before me. So we have a seat...where sean finds a bowl of "pops!" LOL dumdums and mini tootsie pops to be exact. :) so we talked about Pops for 5 minutes and how he could get one after his haircut IF he was a good boy and sat really still. So the entire time he talked about pops... "brown pop" and then Kim told sean, "Your hair's so long you could wear it in a pony tail!" COMPLETELY cracked him up. then we talked about what Daddy would say if he had a pony tail, "No way!" LOL then we finished up and Sean did get his Pop :) a "brown pop" (tootsie pop). he came home and devoured it in about 3.5 seconds :) LOL